Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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