You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
