im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
