If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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