I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
