Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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