What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
