he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
handjob tips. give me some.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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