Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
