You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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