do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
