I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
