Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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