So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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