I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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