I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
