hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
