It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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