There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
