If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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