is your mom at the bar?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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