come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
