Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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