maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
