Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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