This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
