Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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