i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
