Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
