I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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