tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
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