My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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