nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
