That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
