I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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