look no pants
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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