I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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