If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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