Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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