Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she peed on how many people?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
