Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
