glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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