I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
