i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
