Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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