i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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