I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
