if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
