I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
