I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
