Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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